Dealing with Negative Energy
A question often posed to me by patients and students relates to a concern about picking up other people’s negative energy. The frequency of such questions reveals that more and more people are becoming increasingly aware that people can impact each other energetically. Even those people who do not recognize the concept of energetic influence know somehow that the people they’re dealing with are having some kind of effect on them. For instance, we might under certain circumstances feel an emotional shift involving annoyance, anger, or any mix of emotions that seem to percolate up out of nowhere. In fact, even when the people one is dealing with are quite polite, unpleasant energy can still be coming from them. If we search within ourselves and find no remembrance or vision of personal tragedy, nor any other event that could contribute to a sudden turn of emotions, then it’s likely the negativity is being picked up from that person or someone around us. In effect, it’s like a person walking into a smoke-filled room. One comes out of the smoke-filled room and one’s clothes, skin, and body are permeated with the odor. Likewise, in the midst of negative emotional energy one can pick things up that play on our psyche and emotions. When we pick up powerful odors our body reacts by purging and preventing it from entering the respiratory tract. We may wheeze and cough while tears well up to wash away the molecules invading our body. Energetically speaking, that’s also what happens when negative emotional energy impacts us. We have reactions, both emotional and physical. It is very taxing on our being.
Although it is very rare, sometimes people suspect and complain that someone is stealing their energy. People who practice techniques of stealing energy take on everything—including all the negative imprints the victimized person may have. That’s why people who practice deviant procedures usually are not very healthy, to say the least. In fact, stealing energy doesn’t make sense because there is benevolent life force and energy of all kinds available in their purest form in the universe. What about people who do healing? Most importantly, one needs to be able to maintain separation and clarity so that when the energy is transmitted, the patient is not contaminated, and the healer also doesn’t pick up negative energy from the patient. I have observed through decades of treating people who are by profession or inclination healers, that over the years they are burned out and can no longer work. That’s precisely the point. Because they have cumulatively picked up so much negative energy from working on people, they ended up with problems themselves.
Another observation is that most people who learn healing are only interested in learning the techniques necessary to perform healing. Very few people are willing to spend time learning to strengthen themselves so that they are able to remain detached from their activities. Most people who teach healing are not in the habit of focusing too much on this aspect because they simply want to get people trained in the technicalities. This satisfies the impatience of the students and encourages more people to be out there practicing their method or tradition. In fact, the most time consuming aspect of learning to be a healer is not so much learning the intricacy of healing. Energetically it is an endowment process. Knowledge is transferred from the energetic plane. Often people spend a great amount of time on rational discourse as well as participating in rituals and ceremonies that placate the rational mind simply by engaging in a lot of activities and making them seem important. Whereas the time and diligence that is needed is really based on learning how to coordinate and strengthen our physical, emotional, and energetic bodies in such a way that one is able to stay detached from the activities involved yet still able to be fully effective.
Oftentimes people will say: “Well, I’m not hooking into anyone’s stuff”. There’s a difference between saying and being. An intellectual awareness is not enough. People can deceive themselves into thinking they are protected. Part of the reason for this is that people oftentimes have a very simplistic approach with regard to protection. This is perpetuated by various teachings that infer all one has to do is envision some kind of protective light surrounding one’s being in order to be protected. Though the basics of such teaching are true, they are oversimplified. First, we must understand that an effective and strong shield is the result of diligence and practice. The more energy, the stronger the shield. Second, and more important in the case of healing others, once you extend yourself mentally or physically to help someone however, you open yourself up. It is like hiding inside a bunker where you are protected: as soon as you want to communicate with somebody and open the door, you are no longer protected.
Let’s differentiate between the ways we are impacted by energetic impressions from outside. There are energetic imprints from other individuals we are dealing with that manifest themselves as very powerful emotions. If a person is upset, we may not know the particular nature of the cause, but we feel the emotional impact, or the energetic impact of the emotion. It is like a powerful wind blowing at us which causes us to expend energy in order to maintain equilibrium. That’s why we get tired.
When we experience it from somebody else, we don’t necessarily know the content but we still feel their powerful emotions as they come across energetically. On the physical level, we may be alerted to problem signs through what is articulated verbally or through body language. Energetically, it’s very subtle, yet powerful.
There is also the energetic environment. When in a public environment, such as a political or sports event where the surrounding energy is such that your energy may be charged up in a particular way, even though the event may be exciting throughout, it could also be very draining on one’s psyche because there’s a whirlpool of energy that contains a whole range of strong emotion. Regardless of the source of the energetic emanations, when we ourselves have certain issues within us—whether it be grief, sadness, anger, or any combination of emotions—we are more prone to resonate with whoever is sending out these vibrations. We don’t even need to be in direct contact with a particular individual. This happens most easily to those of us who are energetically sensitive.
To keep from being affected by other people’s energy it is important to practice a certain sense of detachment. This is not simply an intellectual concept. The individual needs to go through the rigor of training, both mentally and physically, so that one will not hook into other people’s dramas. When the negative energy comes, you should be like a screen door allowing it to go through. Doing that entails more than mere visualization or mental awareness or acknowledgement. It is also important to understand the difference between detachment and caring. Oftentimes people become somewhat indignant and protest: “What do you mean detachment? I’m a caring person and I want to help and heal people”. Please understand, “detachment” does not mean you don’t care. Naturally when you try to help someone you care about, you should do your utmost, but shouldn’t feel guilty if the result is less than desired. Equally important are those times you try to help someone and they resist, because they no longer want the help, or are unable to process a certain amount of information at any given time. Then you have to be able to stop and not be upset or frustrated. When you push, it means you have hooked into other people’s business. You are no longer helping but rather interfering in the guise of benevolence and generosity. To maintain your energetic integrity is solely a matter of intent. One of the most commonly seen examples is parents who in the course of caring for their offspring will dictate in all matters, whether it be education, career, or relationships. They interfere with their offsprings lives even in the face of strong resistance and resentment. The parents persist and insist, oftentimes resorting to various psychological or monetary pressure. Indeed this is how many of our negative imprints are created and often transmitted through generations.
So, it’s important to realize that we need to maintain boundaries. This is really what detachment is about—not hooking into anybody, and respecting boundaries when helping people. And you do not push help on people, no matter how good or wonderful you think it is. They have the free will to choose. This is something that one needs to practice on a constant basis until it becomes second nature. You develop armor, and can maintain it without effort. Anytime you have to consciously think of putting up a defense, it’s not going to be very effective. In fact, it’s a waste of energy. The defense mechanism has to be natural--like raindrops falling off a duck’s feathers.
Another area of concern is that of self-absorption. Any sort of mental chatter or worry is a form of self-absorption. And when you are constantly concerned with thinking about yourself, then you are more likely to absorb whatever emanations are coming your way and resonate with them. So it is important to work on silence so that energy is not wasted with constant mental chatter in your head, thus enabling you to maintain a higher state of awareness.
These suggestions seem easy on the surface, but they are not so easy to accomplish. It requires diligence to strengthen one’s energetic integrity so that we are not knocked off balance, or bounced around by other people’s emotional baggage in the form of energetic emanations. Moreover, regardless of the individual, we need a certain amount of time to transform ourselves from within. The right kind of disciplinary process enables us to deal with other people’s negative energy more effectively. More importantly, it entails a transformation within ourselves that’s both empowering and creative. Unfortunately, most people are not willing to spend the time and the effort, or don’t know where to begin. Quite often individuals succumb to the self–importance and arrogance of thinking they are protected by God, mistaking false humility or sentimentality with lack of self–importance. Many so–called teachers, masters and gurus give off an air of humility, but actually exhaust themselves in preserving the facade. Such attitudes have deleterious effects on these individuals as well as their followers.
Eliminating self–importance is the single most effective way to deal with negative energy.
© Howard Lee - September 18, 2000
